Saturday 28 January 2012

Confusion!!!

Both yesterday and today have been a bit confusing. Periods with no memory. I didn't have to pick myself up off the floor I don't think and there is no damage done but there are empty spaces and areas of confusion.

Could well be complex partial seizures but I live on my own now so how do I tell. I haven't been out (I don't think) since Thursday as nothing has been needed that I can think of.....





Will tomorrow be an improvement?

Will I know?

Will I retain any memory?

Will I remember to tell you?

Thursday 26 January 2012

Back on my feet!!!

I slept well last night, thank goodness as I had to come into town today. I feel OK now which is surprising as I usually suffer a bit longer when I have a tonic-clonic seizure. The arm is a bit bruised but that's all.

Fingers crossed that I can stay on my feet today, not so bad if it happens on the bus as they know where to dump me!!!

Wednesday 25 January 2012

Tonic-clonic seizure

It was probably a tonic-clonic seizure that hit me this afternoon. Unusual because it's usually morning or night, sometimes during the day but not often - apart from today of course. Possibly around two-ish and it's now past eight, that's the day (and my shoulder) buggered.

I'm going to bed!!!

Monday 23 January 2012

Good day today!!!

Today it's been a good day so far. Have been on my own throughout though so......

I don't feel like I've had a seizure though so I'll just carry on believing that :))

Saturday 21 January 2012

Possible seizure last night

I possibly - no, probably - had a seizure of some kind last night. I'm not sure what happened, I'm a bit mixed up about it and it's taken me a couple of hours to work that out. Probably sounds a bit stupid but that's how it goes when you live on your own. There's no-one else around to say to you  that this or that happened, or even to ask you why you dozed off, if that's what happened.

I suspect that it was a complex partial seizure because there is no damage, no bruising, no aches or pains caused by falling over while in seizure. But last night doesn't exist to me. There is no memory from 5.00 or 6.00 pm onwards. I woke up this morning and there was no last night, none at all.

I've checked and I took my medication at some point last night so that's alright, I must have been switched on for long enough to get it done correctly.

What else? I don't have anything else about last night, it doesn't exist. Did I miss good or bad? If we were going to make love then:

God, you're good, hope you're coming round again tonight!!!

or

Sorry, I wasn't too well, hope you're coming round again tonight!!!

Thursday 19 January 2012

And it screws things up too!!!

It was 1983, I was 21 and I was assaulted. I suffered a fractured skull and a brain haemorrhage. It really buggered my life up. The following year I suffered my first tonic-clonic seizure.

Until then I'd been working as a service engineer and enjoying it too. That was that finished. I got my driving licence back in'87 so I started a business - which I lost in 1990. Guess why!!!

Instead of having to be free of epilepsy for two years, it had changed to being free of epilepsy for one year before you got your licence back so  I got mine back in February or March '92. Off to work in the building trade for ten years and happy with it.

But the next disaster. In 2002 it was identified that I was suffering from complex partial seizures and I realised that I had been taking them since 1983. That answered the question, "What the hell is going on, what's happening to me???" At least it identifies the mistakes that I make. It identifies the stupidity that you feel by the  errors in life that it causes.

So, the last thing that could be done was an operation on my brain. It happened in 2009 but was not successful, leaving me with both tonic-clonic and complex partial seizures. It has also affected my eyesight.

What's left - you tell me without saying "Fuck all."